Becoming a mum is magical—but let’s be real, it’s also exhausting. Between sleepless nights, endless feeds, and figuring out how to keep a tiny human alive, it's easy for your relationship to take a back seat. Trust me, you’re not alone! I’ve helped countless mums navigate this tricky new territory, and I’m here to be your birth bestie, guiding you through this crazy but beautiful phase of life.
So, how do you balance your relationship and your new role as a mum? Well, grab a cuppa, get comfy, and let’s dive into some real-talk tips to help you find that balance—and keep the love alive, even with a baby in the mix.
1. Communication is Key—So Talk About Everything
When you’ve got a newborn in the house, it’s easy for conversations with your partner to revolve around nappies, feeds, and sleep (or lack of it!). But don’t forget that you and your partner are still a team—and teams thrive on communication.
Here’s the trick: carve out time to talk about non-baby stuff, too. Whether it’s chatting about your day, your dreams, or what Netflix series you’re keen to binge-watch, keeping that connection strong is essential.
New Zealand midwives often stress the importance of open dialogue between partners, and honestly, it works wonders for balancing those early mum-and-dad days. And yes, it’s okay to let your partner know you need a break too!
2. Date Night—But Make It Newborn Friendly
Gone are the days of spontaneous weekend getaways (for now, anyway!), but that doesn’t mean romance has to vanish into thin air. Date nights might look a little different with a newborn in the house, but that’s okay! Even a quiet night at home can be special if you make it count.
Plan a nice meal after bub goes down for the night (fingers crossed they sleep!). Or if you’re too tired to cook, Uber Eats and a favourite movie works just as well. The point is to intentionally connect with your partner in ways that remind you why you’re in this together—beyond just surviving the newborn stage!
3. Don’t Forget ‘Me Time’—For Both of You
It can feel like all of your time and energy goes into looking after your little one, but don’t forget that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s necessary! Whether it's five minutes for a quiet coffee, a walk around the block, or just a moment to breathe, having some time to yourself can refresh you and your relationship.
Encourage your partner to take time for themselves too. Balance doesn’t mean doing everything together—it means supporting each other’s need to recharge.
4. Get on the Same Page with Parenting
One thing that can cause tension in those early weeks is when you and your partner have different ideas about how to handle things like feeding, sleep routines, or who’s on night-duty. While there’s no ‘perfect’ way to parent, having a clear plan together can avoid frustration down the track.
This is where antenatal classes come in handy (see what I did there?). I help couples in Auckland prepare for birth and those early parenting challenges, so you’ll both feel confident, informed, and on the same page. From feeding techniques to how to soothe your baby, we cover it all, ensuring you and your partner feel like a united front when baby arrives.
5. Ask for Help When You Need It
In New Zealand, we’re lucky to have a village of support—whether it’s through Plunket, friends, family, or antenatal classes. Use it! No one expects you to do it all alone, and asking for help doesn’t make you a bad mum or a failing partner.
Whether it's calling in your mum for a break or booking into a supportive antenatal class, don't hesitate to get the support you need to make this new phase of life as smooth as possible.
6. Laugh Together—It’s Your Secret Weapon
Nothing breaks the tension like a good laugh. Your relationship will have its ups and downs as you adjust to life with a baby, but finding the funny moments in the chaos is key to keeping things light. Whether it’s the weird faces your baby makes when they’re gassy or the hilarity of trying to change a nappy at 3 am in the dark, don’t forget to laugh together. It’s a powerful way to stay connected!
Balancing being a new mum and keeping your relationship strong is all about teamwork, communication, and a little help from your birth bestie (that’s me!).
If you're looking for expert guidance on preparing for birth and those early parenting days, book your session with me now! I’ll help you and your partner feel ready for whatever comes your way—together. For some that looks like a Antenatal Class so you can prepare with other parents, for others it looks like a 121 appiontment to go over your plans, give you the personal advice that relates directly to you and your stuation. Other might prefer a counselling session to help them manage their feelings around pregnancy, being a new mum or dad. Being a mum is hard, but you don’t have to do it alone. Let’s make sure you’re prepared, supported, and excited for this amazing journey!
Ready to feel confident and connected as a new mum? Book a session with me today and start your journey to a positive birth and postnatal experience. I can’t wait to meet you!
Donna x
Antenatal Classes Auckland
Comments